There’s a myth out there that relationship happiness is contingent on finding “the one” or finding our “soulmate”. Unfortunately these myths can make people in relationships miserable. The belief creates doubts when our present relationship hits a trouble spot. A partner may believe that we’ve chosen the wrong person or that better love is out there somewhere else with someone else. Because of these beliefs, many people give up on a relationship and become part of America’s $50-billion-a year divorce industry.
With 2,400 divorces processed by courts in the U.S. every single day, it’s clear that plenty of people are calling it quits. But are they quitting too soon in the hope that they’ve chosen poorly and true love is just around the corner? For relationships to be successful, it’s important for both partners to recognize that love is an emotion AND a choice. Love is something we feel but too often we make the choice not to feel it anymore. We cloud our mind with negative thoughts about our partners that are repeated until we’re incapable of having a loving thought about that person. We base love on the other person’s actions or words, which are often a result of current circumstance or even a result of them reflecting what they feel from us.
Once we choose to turn off that love, a breakup seems certain. The important thing to keep in mind is that couples can choose to turn that love back on in the relationship. You can choose to commit again. You can choose to make things work in spite of the current difficulties.